We’ve been together a long time now, and I really value what our relationship has done for me, my confidence and my outlook on life. It’s just that sometimes I feel a bit smothered, and spending all my time with you is getting in the way of doing other things…

I’ve been blogging solidly for a year and a half, every week, and occasionally in between when I got particularly over-excited. Writing about my transition really does help me to understand myself, and I hope that what I write gives some insight into the life of a trans person. Most of all, I want to show that whilst we do have very specific concerns and issues, trans people do not share identical needs or motivation, and we are, on the whole, very ordinary people going about very mundane lives. We’re not brave, not exotic unicorns, not perverts, not delusional, not trying to follow some sort of weird trend, not fetishes, not walking political statements. Actually, we may be any and all of those, but not on account of our gender identity.

I have been a busy bee, setting up a local group for trans guys, genderqueer people, and those who were assigned female at birth and are questioning their gender identity. The group’s name is, rather unimaginatively, FTM Norfolk. I tried to think up something dynamic and funky, but failed πŸ™‚ I’ve also started running a FB page for the group, to provide an easily accessible point of contact, and spend a lot of time monitoring the group’s email account, liaising with local LGBT groups and Trans* groups nationally. It’s all very exciting, and I am really hopeful that slowly we can build a strong valuable resource here in Norfolk.

You may also be aware that I make videos for YouTube. I take part in a collaborative channel for *cough* ‘more mature’ FTMs exploring a different topic each week, which is challenging, but fun. I used to upload a video on my personal channel once a month, but came to realise that at this stage in my transition, I don’t have a whole lot to add to my ‘progress so far’ on a monthly basis, so I’ve cut things back to every 2 months.

That rather brings me back to my point today. Whilst I love blogging, I promised myself from the start that I would do my best to keep it relevant. Because there’s not an awful lot going on personally in my transition, there is always the option to explore the trans experience generally, and get into the politics surrounding treatment of people like me in the world at large. I definitely enjoy a bit of tub thumping, but I don’t want my blog to become a rant. Or a whine.

I’m at a point where I’m having to scrabble round a bit for things to say in my blog, whereas before I just couldn’t write things down quickly enough. I’ve started to worry about finding topics, and what to say, and when to find the time to say it. As I’ve so much else going on in my life, I’d rather my blogging remained a positive, affirming process, and I don’t want to stress about it!

As a result, dear blog, I’m afraid I want a bit of space – some time I can spend apart from you that will make our relationship stronger. Instead of posting once a week, I’ll be doing it once a fortnight instead. We’ll still be together, but with a bit less stress. If something super-exciting happens, I’ll be right here blogging about it, but if not, I’ll see you in a fortnight.

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