…and thanks too for my friend Leigh’s classy and classic suggestion for a blog title. Had to be done really, didn’t it? This blog post may be a little disjointed, cos so is my brain right now!

I’ve spent most of today asleep, which pretty much follows on from every day since my surgery. I’m not sure which bit has whacked me out more…the actual operation, or the general anaesthetic? I do know I’m just not working back on all cylindars yet. Witness the amount of time it has taken to type this. I’m a poor typist at the best of times, but this has taken ages. Still, I’m not complaining.

The actual surgery seems to have gone well. I’ll spare you the details of waiting to go in, the paper pants and compression stockings. I will say though that when the nurse walked me into the pre-op room, and I stood in a corner waiting for them to put bedding on a gurney, whilst I could hear all the beeps and bloops of the surgical ‘stuff’ waiting for me through the door I was totally, utterly terrified. However, the staff treated me with respect and kindness, and the anaesthetist soon zoomed me off into the land of fairies. On the way there I had a few moments to say a little personal goodbye and ‘I’m sorry’ to each boob. It wasn’t their fault, after all.

I came round about three hours later, swathed in dressings and with an attractive drain on each side. I was really scared about having the drains removed. I’ve experienced the pain of having six inches of tubing pulled out of my body before, and the first time round it made me scream. This time was honestly no problem. Either I was just lucky, or I had a nurse with magic fingers. Either way, pain-free. Phew.

As I am allergic to plasters and micropore, I’ve been bundled up in I’m not quite sure what, with a big tubigrip looking liking medical corsetry gone terribly wrong. Apart from itching like a b*gger, it’s all pretty comfortable, and I’ve had no scary ‘what the hell was that’ moments when I’ve moved around. I’m moving VERY carefully.

On a random, but important note for anyone contemplating surgery of any sort, I was warned before the surgery to stock up on Senokot. All these painkillers, apart from making me feel even MORE sick, at times, also bung you up. A lot. Just saying πŸ™‚

Monday is the day of the great unveiling – I still don’t really know what I’ve got left, nestling amongst the dressings. I know there’s a lot of padding, and a fair bit of swelling, but time will tell if I still have two nipples, and where exactly they are! Until then, I’m trying just to chill, move around a bit to keep things going, catch up on all the sleep I’ve ever missed out on ever, and look forward to finding out What Lies Beneath.

I’ve been asked if I regret it? So far, absolutely not.

If any of you are curious to know exactly what went on under anaesthetic, Willemina and I made a very educational video which is now on my YouTube Channel MrHerbertTurtle. It’s pretty accurate, though I think a touch more chaotic than what actually happened…