Sorry about the dodgy title. I do like to entertain myself with post titles from songs, but try as I might, I couldn’t find any decent lyrics about hairloss.

Yes, I’m losing hair. Not in big dramatic lumps, but by regular sprinkling. Wherever I go, I leave little hairy calling cards, sprinkle by sprinkle. When I wake up, there’s little hairs all over my pillow. When I wash my hair, the bath needs epillating afterwards (and no, they’re not *that* sort of little hair). At work, I tend to run my hand through my hair when I’m thinking, and as a result there’s usually a good sprinkling of the little blighters whenever I look down at my desk. The same goes for the desk at home, which is conveniently white so that I can see all the escapees clearly.

None of this is entirely surprising – I take testosterone, and one of the known effects is hairloss from the head. I suppose I thought that I wouldn’t be affected. After all, my Dad has a full head of hair. On the other hand, we’re told to look to the male relatives on our mother’s side for clues on how we’ll look regarding hair loss. It’s not an exact science, but I don’t think the only close male relative I have on my Mum’s side of the genetic fence would mind me outing him as Not Having Much Hair. So potentially, my sprinkling could just be the beginning.

Everything I’ve read on FTM hair loss points to ‘Male Pattern’ hair loss – you know the sort of thing, with the forehead becoming steadily higher at the sides, then meeting up with the bald spot that’s appeared on the crown. Not all FTMs go much beyond the receding hairline stage, and I hope that’s the case with me, but to be honest, what will be will be, and I’m not going to panic and start massaging my hair with cowpats, or shelling out hundreds of pounds for a forehead weave. I know that many men find hairloss to be traumatic and damaging, but as I have taken a clear decision to make my body masculine, accepting the good and the bad that comes with that, I’m in no position to complain about my hairloss.

It would appear that I am losing a handful or so of hair a day, from all over my head. There’s no discernible change of shape to my hairline, and certainly no bald spots. I do have a LOT of hair to start with, so all I can do is carry on sprinkling and see what happens.

******************************

On a slightly more serious note, I am aware that in the last few blog posts I haven’t really been giving my all. A few weeks ago I came under fire from more than one person for what I’m doing, the impact it is having on others and the way I have chosen to deal with it. I won’t go into details, but I came out of a very rough week wondering whether I should just shut up, be a model person, and try to do whatever other people want. When I started this blog, I swore to myself that I would be honest, whoever was reading it, and recently, I have found that difficult, resulting in a blog that was more ftmark-lite, than honest. Of course, nothing I’ve said has been a lie, but I have been holding back. So I’m sorry, and I’ll try to get things back to where they should be. If there’s anything you’d like me to write about, I’m always open to ideas, though I reserve the right to say no, politely.

No more ftmark-lite.

Advertisements