I’ve been reading back over the last couple of weeks’ entries, and they do seem rather gloomy! It’s true that I’ve been struggling with some knotty issues, and that’s likely to continue, but transitioning is definitely affecting me in a good way overall.

I have more confidence. I hold my head up high. My anxiety levels have plummeted. I am smilier. I feel like a better partner (you’d better check that one with Will!)

Those of you who know me in the flesh (no, not THAT way), will know that I am NOT a morning person. It takes a SAD light, a large mug of coffee and three alarm clocks to get me going. And Will still has to shout/cajole me to leave for work on time. Since starting with the Testosterone, mornings are easier. This could be down to a lot of things: more sunlight – it is Spring, after all (hurrah!); a new job, that I actually want to go to; excitement at the prospect of putting on the T gel – I do this first thing, and it’s already become a bit of a ritual. I also just seem to have much more energy and general va-va-voom. Whatever’s causing it, it makes me happy!

Another thing that made me happy this week was being asked to carry some heavy boxes at work. I have honestly never been asked to carry stuff before – I have always been lumped in with the ‘girls’, and carrying stuff was left to the manly men. Now I’m sure you can argue that being asked to carry stuff is hardly a victory, and really only reinforces sexist stereotypes, but it made ME happy to be amongst the little party of testosterone-fuelled macho-men striding off to hunt bison carry the stationery order upstairs. Little things 🙂

My final piece of happy news (see, I CAN do an angst-free blog!) is that during one of our regular sessions, my lovelycounsellor suggested that we start investigating the prospect of organising a mastectomy. That probably sounds like a really weird thing to get happy about, but it’s tremendous. It won’t happen for a while, but to start the process is fantastic. I’ll save my feelings about my Evil Twins for a future post (it’s just too sunny a day for another bout of dysphoria) but let’s just say I left my counselling session with a huge smile.

*sings*

“Transition…It makes me happy,
Transition…it feels fine…” la la la!

My new video is up on YouTube – just follow the link on the right to hear my new gravelly voice!

Advertisements