Transitioning seems to be a very self-obsessed process. I have always been fascinated with my reflection – not because I think I’m gorgeous and want to check out my beauty (honest), but because I am curious as to what other people see. How does their analysis of me align with my own?

Knowing that my body will start changing over the next weeks and months has made me even more obsessed with self-image. I cannot pass a mirror or window without taking a peek, and I have a relationship with my mobile phone’s camera that borders on the unhealthy.

I spent a happy couple of hours today being filmed and photographed by a very talented friend – I was in heaven: what better way to satisfy my hunger to see myself than to point a big fancy camera my way.

The other thing I’ve done today is to make a youtube video. I am planning on doing this every few weeks for the foreseeable future. That way I’ll be able to check out the changes I’m going through, and perhaps satisfy more of that need to know myself.

I can only reason that writing this blog, making videos, taking pictures, etc.  is an extension of the need to know every square inch of myself, both inside and out. Transitioning IS a very self-obsessed process, because it entails such monumental changes that the person involved must know themselves so well that they will not lose sight of who they are.

(If you want to check me out on youtube, look for MrHerbertTurtle)

Advertisements